Prince Harry Spare: Summary

Feb 7, 2024 | 3717 Words | 18 min | #books

Prince Harry Has ‘Every Chance’ of Becoming Grammy Winner for ‘Spare’

Part 1. Out of the night that covers me

Despite the eerie stories and his mother’s absence, the narrator fondly recalls a blissful summer at Balmoral Castle, marked by outdoor activities and a memorable encounter with his mother’s new friend.
The narrative vividly describes the author’s memory of transitioning from St. Tropez to Balmoral, focusing on the physical setting and architecture, and reflecting on his role as the “Spare” in the royal lineage, all while questioning the nature of memory and identity.
The narrative recounts the author’s vivid memories of life at Balmoral, the routines and rituals, the physical surroundings, and the shocking moment when he was informed of his mother’s fatal car crash, all while reflecting on the nature of memory and the impact of grief.
The author recounts a Sunday church visit, the emotional aftermath of his mother’s death, and the intrusive presence of the press during a moment of grief.
The author oscillates between denial and acceptance of his mother’s death, clinging to the hope that she’s hiding, until a lock of her hair presented by his aunt forces him to confront the reality.
The narrator grapples with his mother’s death, maintaining public composure during the funeral procession and service, until the sight of her coffin being lowered into the ground triggers an uncontrollable outpouring of grief, despite his persistent belief that she might still be alive.
After his mother’s death, the narrator returns to his normal life and school routine, keeping busy and preferring solitude. His 13th birthday is marked by a gift from his mother, an Xbox, which she had bought for him before her death. Despite the return to normalcy, the narrator grapples with his memories and the truth of his mother’s death.
The narrator describes his life at Ludgrove, a school largely run by matrons who provided care and comfort to the students.
He develops crushes on some of the matrons and navigates through various school rituals, including bathing, lice removal, and letter-writing.
The narrator’s relationship with his father is also explored, highlighting their coexistence and the narrator’s longing for connection, especially after his mother’s disappearance.
The protagonist and his father visit a historical site where they learn about the Zulu warriors and British soldiers’ battle.
The protagonist’s school life is challenging, with some teachers being understanding while others, like his history teacher, are harsh.
He struggles with his royal lineage, feeling disconnected from it, and resents being singled out because of it.
He and his brother meet their father’s partner, Camilla, after their mother’s disappearance, and while they accept her, they plead with their father not to marry her.
Despite their pleas, Camilla seems to be aiming for marriage and the Crown, as evidenced by stories appearing in the press.
In 1998, the protagonist entered Eton, a prestigious school founded by his ancestor Henry VI, and experienced a profound shock due to its rigorous curriculum and overwhelming atmosphere.
He struggled academically, particularly in French, and felt out of place, leading him to request placement in a slower class.
His older brother, Willy, who had been at Eton for two years, asked him to pretend they didn’t know each other.
The protagonist tried to fit in by participating in sports and social activities, but a decision to shave his head led to ridicule and unwanted media attention.
Despite these challenges, he was determined to overcome his reputation as the “naughty one” and to do something meaningful with his life.
In the spring of 1999, our protagonist is whisked away from Eton for an Easter holiday safari in Botswana, Africa.His travel companions include his brother Willy, their beloved nanny Tiggy, and the larger-than-life Marko, a Welsh Guard turned guide. The trip is a whirlwind of campfires, laughter, and wildlife, with the Okavango Delta serving as a breathtaking backdrop.
Despite the excitement, the protagonist grapples with his brother’s indifference and the lingering presence of their late mother. Amidst the wild African nights, he makes a vow to himself: he will find a way to make the jovial Marko laugh.
Our protagonist, a budding prankster, decides to spice up Marko’s pudding with Tabasco sauce, anticipating a fiery reaction. However, a surprise visit from a leopard steals the show, leaving everyone in awe and our protagonist with a sense of divine intervention.
In Africa, the usual royal protocols dissolve, and the protagonist revels in the teeming life of the Okavango Delta. He even tries his hand at smoking some local herbs, only to discover it’s just basil in disguise!
Back in Norfolk, the protagonist and his brother Willy engage in epic battles with their friends, escalating from harmless games to full-blown warfare with Roman candles and BB guns. One memorable battle ends with Nick falling into a construction pit, and the boys, ever the opportunists, decide to drop firecrackers into the pit for added drama. It’s a wild ride of brotherhood, mischief, and adrenaline-fueled adventures!
Sibling rivalry takes center stage as our protagonist and his brother Willy turn their playful energy on each other during a car ride. But when things escalate, Pa intervenes, leaving Willy to stew in the backup car.
The protagonist then embarks on a rite of passage - his first deer hunt. Guided by the ancient Sandy, he takes down a stag with a clean shot. But the celebration takes a gruesome turn as Sandy initiates him into the tradition of ‘blooding’, plunging his head into the carcass of the slain animal.
Meanwhile, Willy opts out of a family ski trip to avoid the dreaded Wall - a horde of photographers. The protagonist, however, braves the Wall, only to be haunted by memories of his missing mother.
Back at Balmoral, the protagonist shares a special moment with his great-grandmother, Gan-Gan.
Our protagonist finds himself in a whirlwind of emotions and experiences. From the shock of witnessing the 9/11 attacks on TV at Eton, to the constant hope and dreams of his mother’s return, life is a rollercoaster.
Meanwhile, he discovers the joys and perils of teenage rebellion, experimenting with marijuana in a secret bathroom assembly line. A fox sighting during one such session leads to a profound connection, a moment of peace amidst the chaos.
Back home, he finds solace in ‘Club H’, a basement hideout where he and Willy can escape the world. But their sanctuary is invaded when rumors of drug use reach the ears of a tabloid editor. Despite vehement denials, the Palace decides to play along, casting our protagonist as the ‘drug-addled child’ in a twisted PR strategy. The world of privacy he once knew is shattered, leaving him to navigate the stormy seas of public scrutiny.
Once upon a time, in the hallowed halls of Eton, a young prince tried to drown his sorrows in the soothing sounds of the Okavango. His room transformed into a jungle each night, filled with the symphony of crickets, baboons, and the occasional lion-hyena brawl. It was his escape, his sanctuary from the nightmare that was about to unfold.
One morning, he woke up to a headline that would make anyone choke on their breakfast - “Harry’s Drugs Shame.” The tabloids had spun a tale so twisted, it would make a pretzel blush. They painted him as a regular at rehab, using pictures from a charity visit as their ‘proof.’ The nation gasped, the Commonwealth tut-tutted, and the prince was left in shock.
The worst part? The betrayal came from within his own castle. His father and future stepmother had played a part in this Shakespearean tragedy. His brother, Willy, was sympathetic but helpless. After all, this was the royal life - a life where your dirty laundry was aired for all to see, whether it was real or not.
The prince sought solace in his friend Marko, who offered sympathy but little else. The editor, whose name the prince chose to forget, continued to haunt him. Her name, ironically, was an anagram for ‘Rehabber Kooks.’ The universe indeed has a sense of humor.
The scandal continued to simmer, with the media painting their clubhouse, Club H, as a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah. Even a family friend, eager to see the infamous Club H, was convinced it smelled of weed. The power of suggestion, it seems, is stronger than the truth.
In the midst of all this chaos, the royal family was shrinking. Princess Margaret and Gan-Gan were both unwell. Aunt Margo, a stranger despite their shared DNA, passed away, leaving the prince to wonder about the missed opportunities to know her better. Gan-Gan, too, was fading. The news of her passing came like a punch to the gut.
The prince and his brother, dressed in dark suits and heavier hearts, walked behind the gun carriage, their eyes filled with déjà vu. They made the dreaded trek to Westminster Abbey, their hearts heavy with loss. The sight of Gan-Gan’s coffin, adorned with a crown that held the largest diamond ever seen by human eyes, was a stark reminder of the transient nature of life.
But life, as they say, goes on. And so did the celebrations for Granny’s Golden Jubilee. The nation was in a festive frenzy, and even Granny seemed to enjoy the modern rock performances. The prince, watching her tap her foot and sway in time, felt a surge of affection for her. He noticed her secret to enjoying the loud music - yellow earplugs. A clever way to control the chaos around her. In that moment, he wished he could hug her, a wish that remained unfulfilled.
And so, amidst scandals, sorrow, and celebrations, the prince learned valuable lessons about life, love, and the importance of yellow earplugs.
The Royal Rollercoaster. Once upon a time, in the grandeur of Balmoral or maybe Clarence House, our hero sat with his Pa, contemplating life after Eton. His mates were off to university, but our hero had different dreams. He fancied himself a fondue maestro in Lech am Arlberg, but that dream melted away. Next, he envisioned himself as a ski instructor, but Pa swiftly buried that idea under an avalanche of disapproval. A safari guide, perhaps? Nope, that idea was left to roam the wilds of rejection.
Our hero was torn. Part of him yearned for a life less ordinary, to make the world gasp in surprise. Another part of him was ambitious, eager to carve his own path and avoid becoming a royal sloth, sipping cocktails and rolling his eyes at family gatherings. After much deliberation, they landed on the Army - a perfect blend of adventure and purpose.
But first, a gap year! Half the year working on a farm in Australia, the other half fighting AIDS in Africa. Our hero was thrilled. A plan, at last!
Fast forward to a weekend in Edinburgh, where our hero shared his grand plans with his friend Henners. They dreamed of future adventures, of meeting on the battlefield or helping people on the other side of the world. But life had other plans. Henners was tragically killed in a car accident, leaving our hero to grapple with the harsh reality of death.
Back at Eton, our hero was thrust into the spotlight, cast as Conrade in Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing”. Despite the press having a field day with the casting, our hero discovered a hidden talent for acting. On opening night, Pa laughed uproariously, albeit at all the wrong times, leaving the audience wondering if he was part of the performance.
Just as our hero was about to bid farewell to Eton, he was accused of cheating. Despite being cleared by the exam board, the accusation stuck, and our hero was left to bear the brunt of the media’s relentless scrutiny.
Finally, our hero found himself on a farm called Tooloombilla in the Australian Outback, a world away from the green landscapes of home. The heat was unbearable, the mosquitoes relentless, and the silence deafening. As he drifted off to sleep on those first nights, he couldn’t help but wonder, “Did we really think this through, mate?”.
Once upon a time, in the land of Oz, a young lad named Harry, or Haz, or Baz, or Prince Jackaroo, or Harold, or Darling Boy, or Scrawny, or Spike (identity crisis, much?), found himself working on the Hills’ farm. It was a place where sweat was your best friend and hard work was the daily bread.
Harry, our protagonist, was no ordinary farmhand. He was a jackaroo, a cowboy whisperer who could read the skies, the land, and the minds of horses. He was a part of a tribe of Huns, born in saddles, who could tell a horse’s thoughts by a mere stroke on its nose.
Their days started before the rooster’s crow, under the blanket of stars, hustling to get chores done before the sun could catch them lazing around. They’d then saddle up and gallop to the edges of the farm, which was double the size of Balmoral (talk about space!). Their mission? To muster, or in simpler terms, to play a giant game of ‘Simon says’ with a herd of cattle.
The cattle, however, were not always cooperative. Especially the young males, who had a rebellious streak and a strong dislike for being separated from their mums. They’d cry, moan, and sometimes even charge at Harry. But Harry, empathetic as he was, understood them. The only task he refused to do was snipping balls. Can’t blame him, can we?
At the end of the day, Harry would take a scalding shower, devour a gargantuan supper, and sit with George on the porch, rolling cigarettes, sipping cold beers, and gazing at the distant thunderstorms or the peppered stars in the clear sky.
But alas, the peace was short-lived. Paparazzi, like ants, started creeping onto the farm. Harry, not wanting to repay the Hills’ kindness by ruining their lives, decided to leave. He flew home, arriving just before Christmas, and went straight to a club. And the next night. And the next.
One night, he met a girl. A page-three girl. She seemed smart and fun. But the press, ever so eager to create a scandal, made a big deal out of it. Harry, however, was unfazed. He shrugged it off, saying, “Bad news sells. Simple as that.”
Soon after, Harry was on a plane to Lesotho, a beautiful yet grim place, the epicenter of the global AIDS pandemic. He and George signed up to help at several charities and schools, building and repairing schools, and doing whatever was needed.
In the midst of all this, Harry agreed to do an interview, his first-ever solo session with a reporter. He spoke about his love for children, his mother, and the scandal with the page-three girl. But he also pointed out the absurdity of discussing such trivial matters when sitting above so much misery.
After the interview, Harry and George drank beer. A lot of beer. Gallons of beer. And Harry smoked an entire shopping bag of weed. He doesn’t recommend it. But hey, hard to be precise when it comes to a shopping bag full of weed, right?
In the land of Cape Town, our hero Harry, also known as Haz, Baz, Prince Jackaroo, Harold, Darling Boy, Scrawny, or Spike (identity crisis, anyone?), embarked on an adventure with his mate George. They were staying at the consulate general’s home and decided to host a dinner. But who to invite? Then Harry remembered a girl he’d met years ago at the Berkshire Polo Club - Chelsy.
Chelsy was… different. She was unimpressed by Harry’s royal title and seemed immune to the ’throne syndrome’. She was more interested in Africa, her homeland, and the strange visitation from the leopard that Harry had experienced.
After a few days of walking, laughing, drinking, and mingling with animals (including a snake wrangler’s cobra and rattlesnake), Harry and Chelsy shared their first kiss under the stars. Meanwhile, George fell head over heels in love with Chelsy’s girlfriend.
Harry then found himself alone in the bush with Adi. They heard about a camp nearby where two filmmakers, Teej and Mike, were doing a wildlife documentary. Harry and Adi decided to join them and found themselves in the middle of a raucous bush party. Teej and Mike were Africans, and they cherished the wildness inside Harry. Teej even said that while Harry’s body was born in Britain, his soul was born in Africa.
Feeling an overwhelming peace and an equally overwhelming need to see Chelsy again, Harry decided to drive to Cape Town. He arrived at Chelsy’s front door barefoot, scruffy, and with a huge smile on his dirty face. She gasped, laughed, and opened the door a bit wider.
However, upon their arrival back at Heathrow, they were papped. Harry advised Chelsy to treat it like a chronic illness, something to be managed. But she wasn’t sure she wanted to have a chronic illness.
Harry then had to face the entrance exams for the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst. They were nothing like exams at Eton. They were tests for psychological toughness and leadership skills. Harry passed with flying colors.
With his report date several months away, Harry had time to gather his thoughts, tie up loose ends, and spend time with Chelsy. She invited him to come back to Cape Town and meet her parents. Harry liked them instantly. They were impossible not to like. They enjoyed funny stories, gin and tonics, good food, and stalking. If you designed in-laws from the ground up, you couldn’t do much better than these guys.
In the realm of royal romance, Harry’s father, affectionately known as Pa, decided to tie the knot with his long-time love, Camilla. Despite the universe seemingly throwing every obstacle their way - from debates about the ceremony’s nature to the Pope’s untimely demise - they finally said their “I do’s” in a civil ceremony at Windsor Guildhall. Harry, however, couldn’t shake the feeling that this marriage would take Pa away from him.
Meanwhile, Harry and his brother Willy decided to engage in some “boys and toys” training with the British Special Boat Service. Amidst the adrenaline-fueled exercises, Harry took a tumble, impaling his knee on a bolt. Despite the pain, he soldiered on, only to find his knee gushing blood at the end of the exercise. The Palace announced that Harry’s entry into the Army would be postponed indefinitely due to a rugby injury, leading to accusations of cowardice from the press.
In the midst of this scandal, Harry attended a fancy-dress party with the theme “Natives and Colonials”. After much deliberation, he decided to dress as a Nazi, complete with a swastika armband and a trimmed mustache. Unbeknownst to him, someone snapped photos at the party, and the image of Harry in a Nazi uniform made headlines worldwide, sparking a firestorm of criticism.
In the aftermath, Harry sought solace and guidance from the Chief Rabbi of Britain. The wise man condemned Harry’s actions but also urged him not to be devastated by his mistake, but instead to be motivated. He absolved Harry and encouraged him to use this experience to make the world better. Despite the calls for Harry to be barred from the Army growing louder, the top brass held fast, stating that Harry was not yet in the Army and was perfectly free to be a “thicko”.
In the world of royal secretaries, Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, aka JLP, aka Marko 2.0, enters the scene. With his shiny gold cufflinks and signet ring, he’s a beacon of steadfast style and no-nonsense attitude. When Harry requests the secret police files on his mother’s crash, JLP delivers, albeit with some “challenging” parts removed. The photos reveal a chaotic scene, with paparazzi flashing their cameras even as Diana lay unconscious. Harry is left with more questions than answers, and a torrent of rage.
Meanwhile, Harry embarks on his military journey, complete with an ironing board for crease-free uniforms. After reciting an oath to the Queen (or Granny, as one cadet cheekily suggests), they dive into the grueling world of boot camp. From relentless running to physical duress, the color sergeants are determined to break them down and rebuild them as One Unit. Despite the harsh conditions, Harry finds solace in the anonymity away from the press. That is, until a reporter from The Sun sneaks onto the grounds, causing a stir about lax security.
Despite the challenges, Harry embraces the rigorous training, finding a sense of purpose in the idea of Service. As he sheds his identity, he feels himself being reduced to an essence, much like his experience in Tooloombilla. At the end of each day, he gives thanks for this transformative journey.
In the sweltering heat of a historic European summer, our hero Harry embarks on the punishing exercise known as Long Reach. It’s a non-stop march, yomp, and run over several days, carrying the weight of a teenager on his back. Just when they think it can’t get any worse, the heavens open, and they’re marching in the rain. Harry’s feet give up the ghost, and he’s diagnosed with trench foot. But a pep talk from Color Sergeant Spence sees him tape up his feet and push through the pain to finish the march.
Back at camp, Harry embraces the monastic lifestyle of a cadet, finding solace in the routine and the absence of the press. He’s no longer Prince Harry but Second Lieutenant Wales of the Blues and Royals. The passing-out ceremony is a grand affair, with Granny making a rare appearance. Harry’s brother, Willy, also a cadet, salutes him, marking a brief moment where Spare outranks Heir.
With the ceremony over, the real partying begins, and Harry wakes the next morning with a wide grin and a slight headache. His next stop? Iraq. Despite the dangers, Harry is eager to serve, finding the prospect of a war zone less daunting than the battles he faces back in Britain. As he prepares for his deployment, he and Willy grapple with the paranoia of their private lives being leaked to the press, leading them to question even their most trusted friends. Harry yearns for the clear rules of engagement on the battlefield, where there’s at least some sense of honor.

P.S. Part 2 and Part 3 may follow by popular requests.

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