I have deleted my LinkedIn account
Alright, first things first: LinkedIn seemed like a brilliant idea at first—networking, job opportunities, and a dash of professional validation (who doesn’t like a shiny online résumé?). But over time, it felt more like a never-ending party where half the guests are trying to sell you something you don’t need, and the other half are desperately spamming you with connection requests that go nowhere. It’s like walking into a job fair only to find out it’s actually a multi-level marketing convention.
I mean, how many times can you get pitched “the best networking opportunity ever” by strangers who think your name is spelled “Sir/Madam”? And let’s be honest, meaningful job offers on LinkedIn often felt as elusive as Bigfoot sightings - always rumored, never spotted. I swear, spotting a unicorn or finding a needle in a haystack would probably be easier. Who knew my profile would attract recruiters from “prestigious” companies that sound like they were named by throwing Scrabble tiles in the air?
Then there are the motivational posts. Oh, the motivational posts. LinkedIn is basically Facebook’s overachieving cousin who somehow manages to turn every cup of coffee into an inspirational life lesson. “Just had my morning coffee—#grateful #blessed #hustle.” Thanks, Karen, but some of us are still trying to figure out if we even want to get out of bed today.
And don’t even get me started on the “thought leaders” who treat their profile like it’s a personal blog. Inspirational quotes that would make a Hallmark card blush, followed by a call to action to follow their 10-step program to achieve ultimate success. Yeah, I’ll pass.
So, after one too many spam messages and the faint echo of actual career prospects, I decided it was time to politely bow out. I’m sure LinkedIn will survive without my daily check-ins and noncommittal scrolling.
So, farewell LinkedIn — it’s not you, it’s me. Actually, it is you. You’ve become that overly enthusiastic acquaintance who just doesn’t get the hint. But, hey, it was fun while it lasted. Time to exit stage left and leave the digital networking circus behind.
Goodbye, another antisocial network.
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